Dairy Entry 73

Entry 73

October 10^th

This case I’ve been working on is getting to me. So I decide to get Sweet and put him through his paces to clear my mind. When I finally finish the extensive workout, I find Jewel there looking at me. “Why are you riding my horse?”

“Daddy just needed to let off some steam.”

“Dad he has a routine and you are interrupting it. Next time ask.” I was just told off by my daughter, this is a first but she is right he does have a routine. I hand Sweet back to Jewel and go back to the house.

I found Michael in his playpen with Tam watching over him. I pulled her in for a passionate kiss, “Don’t you want another baby?”

Tam raises her eyebrow at me and says, “I want to enjoy our children now, don’t you?”

I pull her in for another kiss and reply, “Of course I do…it’s just I was hoping that we could make it equal numbers.” Tam laughed and said, “That is the craziest idea I’ve ever heard.”

Then Michael wanted some attention, “Daddy, daddy…”

“I’ll leave you alone,” Tam said as she walked out the room.

I took Michael to the park and spent the morning just having son, father time.

When Lacey got home she was upset and when I asked why she told that because she had been in so much trouble lately her grades had suffered and even though she was improving it wasn’t enough. I spent the rest of the day helping Lacey with her homework and then going through other work so she could catch up. Once we had finished it was very late around 10:30pm I think but it was worth it as Lacey has caught up on a lot she had missed.

October 20^th

I walked into the girl’s bedroom to find Jewel playing on her brother’s horse, I should have told her off but she looked great using her imagination. When I asked her what she was playing she said, “I was rounding up cowboys Daddy.” I gave her a hug and left her too it. 

I had finally fallen asleep when I heard a scream and slamming of the door. Jewel thought there were monsters under her bed and when she looked big red eyes appeared. I tried to calm her down but nothing helped.

We sat and talked for a while before she went back to bed and she has asked for her own room. I said that I would talk to her Mum first before I could say yes; lucky for me she seemed fine with that.

November 2^nd

The weather has been really bad today. Poor Sweet has been stuck in the barn. When I saw him he looked sad. He needs his exercise but the heavy rain is stopping us and a few laps around the barn isn’t enough. We both needed to let go. When I started to walk back to the house it was someone had heard me and the rain stopped. I ran back to the barn and got changed and took Sweet for race training and jumps. He has improved a lot and soon he could even enter competitions but Jewel will want to enter them.  

When Jewel comes home I talk to her about training Sweet for competitions and she gets excited. Now we have something to do together at least this time she isn't yelling at me like she did a few weeks ago.

November 4^th

I walked in the living room to find Lacey with a smile on her face. My stomach suddenly felt knotted. I knew that look but I wanted to be so wrong for a little while longer. I didn't want to ask but I had too.

“What you doing?” Lacey jumped as she looked at me.

“Nothing, why?”

“Who was on the phone?”

“Dad, no-one, I was just texting.” I raised an eyebrow and she huffed and said, “I texted a boy I know.” I wanted to yell, scream and to tell her you can never date but even I know that is unrealistic. So I took a deep breath and asked, “Do I know the boy you were texting?”

“Nope but he hasn’t texted me back,” and there it was the look I hated my baby girl upset. We had been through so much together and yet this, this boy hasn’t texted her back. Why? Can’t he see that she is beautiful young girl who is smart and funny and has a most precious heart and here he is, breaking it? I f I ever met him I will have words among other things for not seeing how wonderful Lacey truly is.

“Lacey, he may texted you back later. He might be doing something important.”

Great now my lips are saying the opposite to my thoughts. I hope he texts back for her sake. Then Lacey screams, “Daddy he texted me back. What do I say? Don’t answer that, I know exactly what I’ll say. Thanks Dad for this talk.” When she leaves the room I’m more confused than ever. Did we really have a talk?

Dairy Entry 72

Entry 72

Ten years later

Lacey fell to her knees in tears as she saw her father’s grave. All the things she should have said but didn’t all came flooding back. She cried out, “Daddy I’m so sorry I never meant for it to end this way.”

Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her, “How did you want it to end, Lacey?” As she got up and turned she had to look twice and softly asked, “Michael is that you?”

In a sarcastic tone said, “Oh you remember me…you left when I was a toddler.” Michael was interrupted, “Michael don’t be hard on her…”

“Don’t defend her sis; it was because of her leaving that Dad died of a broken heart over his precious little girl.” Jewel looked at Lacey with concern, “Come back to the house and we can talk there.” Lacey just stood there and asked as they started to walk away, “Where is Tam? 

Jewel looked at her and sadly said, “After you left they both carried on for a few years but not knowing if you were still alive Mum gave up any hope and died a few years ago and Dad, well he took her death even harder than the rest of us and with you gone slowly gave up too.”

Michael with a horrified look screamed, “It’s your fault we have lost our parents, it’s all because of you. You just stopped caring for us and thanks to you the family fell apart.”

Lacey started to cry into her hands and through muffled sounds said, “It wasn’t me I swear, It wasn’t me I loved them both so much. I came back to say sorry.”

“Well you left it too late.”

“No I didn’t, please listen.” Michael took Jewel’s arm and led her away leaving Lacey alone.

She screamed in a panicked voice, “I’m sorry.” But they kept on walking away so Lacey tried again, “I’m sorry.” Suddenly she felt dizzy and grabbed her head as she fell to the floor sobbing her heart out where she fell and whispered the words, “I’m sorry Daddy.”

When she looked up she noticed she wasn’t in the graveyard next to Dad’s grave but in her bedroom. She looked over and saw Jewel fast asleep. Still half asleep she stumbled out of bed to where the nursery used to be and there lying in his cot was Michael. Lacey ran across the hall to her Dad’s room but it was empty. In a panic she ran down the stairs and into the living room and found her Dad and Tammy watching TV.

September 23rd

“Dad you’re still here?” I looked at her puzzled and replied, “Lacey you went to bed an hour ago after our conversation. Are you ok?”

Lacey hugged me and said, “I am now Daddy. I really am sorry.”

I kissed her goodnight and after she left turned to Tam, “What was all that about?”

“I think she loves you and wants you to know that.”

“Women I'll never understand you. One minute she is screaming at me and the next hugging me.”

Tam looked at me and pulled me in for a kiss and replied, “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

September 26^th

The last few days have been relatively normal. Lacey is talking to me again and working hard at improving her grades. Michael has learnt more words and Jewel is feeling better and has started to look after Sweet again.

Tam was happy with this as she felt her garden was getting neglected. Over the past few days the weather has gotten worse and Jewel has begged me to build a stable for Sweets. I did object at first but Jewel is right our horse needs a better shelter. Now it means I have to alter the garden and in all honesty I’m getting too old to start altering things around here. I just really don’t want to tackle this in these weather conditions but I could always ask James to help me.

September 29^th

I asked James to give me a hand building the new stable but couldn’t so I having to do this by myself but even though it took a few days I think I did an ok job and Sweet seems to like it. Tammy told me she booked a holiday and I really don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean Michael is still so young but Tam has put her foot down so to speak. She says it will be good as a family to get away and it is time I spent quality time with all the children. I hate knowing that my wife maybe right at times.

October 1^st

I drove Lacey to her first ballet class this evening and I have to say that it was nice to hear Lacey being upbeat for a change and I almost forgot my daughter could smile. I tried to bring up the subject of having more children last night. That was not a good idea, Tam bit my head off. Michael as far as Tam was concerned was her last. I tried my best moves on her but no she won’t listen. It was the first time in a long time that I refused sex by my wife.

Maybe this holiday won’t be a bad thing after all. I’ll try and seduce my wife at the resort and hopefully after buttering her up she will agree to try again. I have just had a call from the station they need my help with a new case, great and I was just about to finish writing in you then go to bed, oh well maybe tomorrow.

Diary Entry 71

Entry 71

September 8th

I have so much to tell you, Tam give birth to our son, Michael He is beautiful baby. The girls just love him so much. The girls help out when they can. Unfortunately the last few months have been hard, Dad passed away peacefully in his sleep and as you may remember me telling you Lacey start seeing her mother and this has meant our relationship that we once had has deteriorated badly. Lacey is staying out most nights breaking curfew I don't know when she will be back and when she does come home she acts like nothing is wrong. We are having big fight about it and she has even said she will live with Sophia, I just don't know what to do anymore.

September 12th

"Lacey you are not going out again."

"News flash Dad, I am!" Slamming the door as she walked out.

"It will be fine." as Tam tries to reassures me but my gut tell me otherwise. I decide to put my frustrations into my work. Nothing gets my focus; I'm just so worried about her.

Jewel looks like her sister and they have a good relationship, I just wish Jewel was old enough to talk sense to her sister.

As I came home from another long day I found Lacey helping out in the garden, I called over but she wouldn't answer me.

Michael is a sweet boy who always has a smile on his face. He loves to learn and wants to know more all the time. I love that about him but it can wear you out.

September 19^th

Michael was playing with doll and I couldn't help but take a picture of the moment. The poor doll does get used a lot. Jewel hasn't been well lately so her chore, looking after Sweet has been taken over by Tam. At first Sweet was not happy with Tam taking over but has finally come around.

Last night the police called at the house with my daughter. She had decided that because she didn't like a group of children at her school that she would leave them a gift on the door step. Unfortunately Lacey was spotted by a young girl and when she told her parents they phone the police to deal with the matter. Then the officer asked me a question that did shock me, "Is your daughter any relation to the late April Blonde?"

"How dare you, officer. Lacey has never met this April Blonde. You are right they are related but it is a very distant connection. Are you trying to compare my daughter to her?"

"I..I..might Mr Blonde."

As I shut the door I was angry that someone could see what I had been trying to not think about Was it possible generations down the line that Lacey has her Great, Great Aunt's evil streak? I mean her mother is a mean spirited person, who never wanted our daughter and I was blinded by her beauty that I even consider marrying her.

I went to my bedroom after saying good night to the children and when I saw Tam I just lost it. As she comforted me she said, "I heard what the officer said. Lacey is going through a tough time. See it from her side, Sophia gave her up and Lacey wants answers which you can't give her. She loves you but she feels let down by the one person who should have been there for her."

"This is why she was to stay away from Sophia."

"Luke you can't protect her forever."

"Why won't she speak to me? I would listen to her." Tam just stared at me and replied, "Really? Every time you see her anywhere near Sophia's place you yell at her and then lecture her at how bad she is. Lacey needs to find out by herself and you need to let her do this or you will lose her."

September 22nd

I haven't said anything to Lacey to past few days. Hoping that what Tam says is right and that she will come to me.

I walk into the living room and Lacey is watching TV, she looks up at me and says, "Dad we need to talk."

Dairy Entry 70

Entry 70

January 15^th

Lacey just stared at her new sister while she was sleeping in the cot. I walked in and Lacey asked "Is that all she does? I want to play with her."

"At the moment yes but Jewel will get bigger and then you can play with her. However you can feed her and change her nappy."

"I will help feed her but I won't change her as she smells."

I understood not wanting to change a nappy but she didn't have to say it out loud.

Tam and Lacey would spend time outside in the garden, looking after the vegetable patch.

April 8^th

So much has happened in the last few months, Jewel has grown a lot and is now my shadow. She can now walk and talk and is into everything. Lacey is now discovering science and how to make potions.

Dad is now over 100 years old and is not slowing down. The girls adore him and will sit and listen to him reminisce about the good old days. I bought a horse and Lacey named him Sweet. We extended the garden so he can practice running and jumps. However Sweet does drive Tam nuts as he eats any new plants she is trying to grow, I've had to tell him off a few times.

Lacey ran to our new ice-cream van to get a lolly. She loved this new way of getting treats, that truck must be doing well.

April 10th

I found out I'm going to be a Dad again for the third time. Tam decided to remodel parts of the house and she put in a laundry room and redesigned the bathroom. She also re-decorated Nina's old room so Lacey and Jewel can share. Lacey loved playing pee-a-boo with Jewel and dressing up in her throne outfit. I have to say at the top of Lacey's favourite things to do was having a bed time story for her Granddad.

I heard a noise in the middle of the night so I got up to investigate and found that Lacey had snuck outside to feed a treat to Sweet. I know I should have called her but I didn't have the heart.

April 15th

I have entered Sweet and myself in a beginners race and doing the last bit of training before the race and Lacey came and helped out at the stable because she brushed Sweet and sorted out his hooves and saddle. She begs me to let her ride him but I have told her that you have to learn how to look after a pet before you get to do the fun stuff.

We waited outside centre waiting to be called to take part in the race and at that moment it seemed to take forever. At last we were called in. We qualified for last place position but the moment the race started Sweet was off, he was like a bolt of lightning.

I didn't have to give much encouragement, he over took the first 3 horses and then started to fall back and then he gained momentum and over took a few more. The last lap was coming up and I kept thinking 5th place for a first race won't be so bad but I guess Sweet had other ideas because without warning we had actually came in first. Our first blue ribbon.

April 21st

Tam had now extended the garden and was growing different and more plants. She had received a call that a restaurant wanted to try the produce so she took a sample over and now they are going to recommend her veg to other chefs in the area.

May 1st

As I was driving home yesterday I found Lacey waiting outside Sophia's house again, I called to the car and I asked her what she was doing? She told me that she had been seeing her mum for the last few weeks. Lacey told me that she was going to continue seeing her mum whether I liked it or not. She wanted to get to know Sophia and have a relationship with her but told me as far as she was concerned Tammy was more like her mother than Sophia was. "Then why see her then?" I asked.

"It's just something I need to do."

May 3rd

Lacey's birthday, she is finally turning into a teenager. James turned up for her big day but Nina couldn't make it as Emily was ill. When she came down stairs and blew out the candles she looked up at me and to my shock she was like a mirror image of Sophia but at least Lacey had the better personality.

I almost forgot my sister did get married and here is a picture of her in her beautiful gown on her big day.

Dairy Entry 69

Entry 69

November 25th Continued...

I pounded on the front door for what seemed like ages, the door opened and I pushed my way in. "LACEY, LACEY"

"Dad I'm here."

"Come on, we are going home." I demanded

"No I'm not. I want to speak to my mum." I turned and looked at Sophia who just walked outside. "Lacey you shouldn't be here. This woman isn't your mum, she is a stranger." I said calmly.

"She is my mum. She had me, I know she left but I want to know why! I want her to tell me, Dad." Lacey sounded so serious, what could I say now.

I walked outside and saw her, I stormed over to her and lost it. "This is your fault, you left us and not a word from you and now Lacey wants to see you after all you've done. Do the right thing for once tell her to come home with me."

"Help you I don't think so. Lacey is my daughter and I want to get to know her after all you stopped me seeing her and that wife of yours thinks she is Lacey's mum, well she's not I am." she threw at me.

"I didn't stop you seeing Lacey. You stopped yourself, I even asked you to marry me and you just laughed at me and told me to keep the baby." I reminded her.

"So what if I did. Lacey would never believe you over me. I'm the one she will believe because she thinks you stopped her seeing me." with that evil grin I hated so much. What neither of us didn't know was all the time we were arguing Lacey stood and watched us.

"You didn't want me? You left me, how could you MUM? I thought Dad was lying to stop me seeing you, now I know he wasn't. Dad I want to go home." Lacey said through tears and anger.

Sophia opened her mouth to say something but no words would come out. I was glad that Lacey knew the truth but she looked so hurt.

"Do you want to talk about?" as I took her back to the car. She just shook her head and kept her head looking at the floor for the whole ride home. When we got home she just ran to her room not saying another word. Everyone looked at me and knew straight away how it went and Dad and Tam just said "She will be ok, just give her time."

November 30th

It had been a few days since Lacey saw Sophia, every time I tried to talk to her she would just look at me and say "Not now Dad." Tam was really starting to show now but rather than take it easy she carried on as if she wasn't pregnant. I really was starting to worry but she said I was being silly that she was only pregnant.

December 3rd

While working on another case, I questioned a Sim at the salon and on my way out I glanced in the mirror and saw my reflection. I went over to the mirror and to my horror I was getting older. How could this happen? I look after myself but lines had started to appear on my face where they shouldn't. Does this mean I'm getting old.

December 11th

After seeing my reflection in the mirror the other day I went out and bought a new car, the Bugatti Veyron. When I brought home the car Tam went nuts on me, "Do you know what harm that car will do the environment?"

"I've always wanted a car like this and I'm keeping it." I told her.

"You are keeping this car but it's not eco-friendly." as she shouted at me.

"No it's not eco-friendly but it is so much fun to drive. You should try it, you'd love it." I knew saying that was the wrong thing because the look on her face said it all. I wanted to say more but thought quit while you are ahead.

Dad thought to car was gorgeous and he even took it for a spin. Lacey even begged to ride in the car but Tam put her foot down and said the car was too fast for a child to ride in it.

January 13th

I got a call while at the police station helping out Tam had gone into labour early, two weeks early but still I had to get to the hospital asap. When I arrived Tam was crying, the contractions were really bad and she was begging for pain relief. The doctor who was new out of medical school was in a state. One of the nurse told him, "Pull yourself together as this woman is in pain and needs your help to deliver this baby safely. The midwife will be here soon now sign for the epidural now." The doctor signed the paperwork.

Tam just kept saying "Get this baby out please. I'm in terrible pain."

"You're doing really well." as I brushed her hair from her face but it didn't seem to make a difference. After another 9 hours of being told push, not yet and push again our daughter entered the world, Tam named her Jewel.