Dairy Entry 72

Entry 72

Ten years later

Lacey fell to her knees in tears as she saw her father’s grave. All the things she should have said but didn’t all came flooding back. She cried out, “Daddy I’m so sorry I never meant for it to end this way.”

Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her, “How did you want it to end, Lacey?” As she got up and turned she had to look twice and softly asked, “Michael is that you?”

In a sarcastic tone said, “Oh you remember me…you left when I was a toddler.” Michael was interrupted, “Michael don’t be hard on her…”

“Don’t defend her sis; it was because of her leaving that Dad died of a broken heart over his precious little girl.” Jewel looked at Lacey with concern, “Come back to the house and we can talk there.” Lacey just stood there and asked as they started to walk away, “Where is Tam? 

Jewel looked at her and sadly said, “After you left they both carried on for a few years but not knowing if you were still alive Mum gave up any hope and died a few years ago and Dad, well he took her death even harder than the rest of us and with you gone slowly gave up too.”

Michael with a horrified look screamed, “It’s your fault we have lost our parents, it’s all because of you. You just stopped caring for us and thanks to you the family fell apart.”

Lacey started to cry into her hands and through muffled sounds said, “It wasn’t me I swear, It wasn’t me I loved them both so much. I came back to say sorry.”

“Well you left it too late.”

“No I didn’t, please listen.” Michael took Jewel’s arm and led her away leaving Lacey alone.

She screamed in a panicked voice, “I’m sorry.” But they kept on walking away so Lacey tried again, “I’m sorry.” Suddenly she felt dizzy and grabbed her head as she fell to the floor sobbing her heart out where she fell and whispered the words, “I’m sorry Daddy.”

When she looked up she noticed she wasn’t in the graveyard next to Dad’s grave but in her bedroom. She looked over and saw Jewel fast asleep. Still half asleep she stumbled out of bed to where the nursery used to be and there lying in his cot was Michael. Lacey ran across the hall to her Dad’s room but it was empty. In a panic she ran down the stairs and into the living room and found her Dad and Tammy watching TV.

September 23rd

“Dad you’re still here?” I looked at her puzzled and replied, “Lacey you went to bed an hour ago after our conversation. Are you ok?”

Lacey hugged me and said, “I am now Daddy. I really am sorry.”

I kissed her goodnight and after she left turned to Tam, “What was all that about?”

“I think she loves you and wants you to know that.”

“Women I'll never understand you. One minute she is screaming at me and the next hugging me.”

Tam looked at me and pulled me in for a kiss and replied, “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

September 26^th

The last few days have been relatively normal. Lacey is talking to me again and working hard at improving her grades. Michael has learnt more words and Jewel is feeling better and has started to look after Sweet again.

Tam was happy with this as she felt her garden was getting neglected. Over the past few days the weather has gotten worse and Jewel has begged me to build a stable for Sweets. I did object at first but Jewel is right our horse needs a better shelter. Now it means I have to alter the garden and in all honesty I’m getting too old to start altering things around here. I just really don’t want to tackle this in these weather conditions but I could always ask James to help me.

September 29^th

I asked James to give me a hand building the new stable but couldn’t so I having to do this by myself but even though it took a few days I think I did an ok job and Sweet seems to like it. Tammy told me she booked a holiday and I really don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean Michael is still so young but Tam has put her foot down so to speak. She says it will be good as a family to get away and it is time I spent quality time with all the children. I hate knowing that my wife maybe right at times.

October 1^st

I drove Lacey to her first ballet class this evening and I have to say that it was nice to hear Lacey being upbeat for a change and I almost forgot my daughter could smile. I tried to bring up the subject of having more children last night. That was not a good idea, Tam bit my head off. Michael as far as Tam was concerned was her last. I tried my best moves on her but no she won’t listen. It was the first time in a long time that I refused sex by my wife.

Maybe this holiday won’t be a bad thing after all. I’ll try and seduce my wife at the resort and hopefully after buttering her up she will agree to try again. I have just had a call from the station they need my help with a new case, great and I was just about to finish writing in you then go to bed, oh well maybe tomorrow.