Dairy Entry 51

Entry 51

February 15th

As you may have already guessed I give birth last night on Valentine's day to a healthy baby boy and we named him Luke. After being rushed to hospital by my father and Shane leaving Ed looking after James, at 2 minutes to midnight, Luke came into this world and believe me the labour may of been quick but was just as painful. Luke definitely has a good pair of lungs. Shane has been feeding him and changing nappies as I have been catching up on sleep from sheer exhaustion.  

February 16th

Luke got a package in the mail this morning and it was another rag doll lookalike. Just like James, Luke loves his doll. James loves trying to speak. He also love making a mess in the kitchen where more of the food ended up over the high chair floor than in his mouth. I think he gets that from his Dad's side lol.

February 19th

Dad passed away this afternoon, it wasn't really a surprise as he was slowing down a lot, he was after all 106 years old. He had gotten to hold Luke once but unfortunately there was no picture taken. Alfie hasn't heard yet. Ed and Shane was upset. I now have to arrange a funeral  for my Dad.

I mean is there something in the air that hates me, I never knew my grandparents and now my boys won't even remember my Dad. I hope they can cope with that!

February 24th

I am laying my Dad to rest and Alfie is refusing to come to the funeral saying it would be too hard for him, well what about me after all he is my Dad and it's just as hard on me too. I don't mean to be harsh  but really if he doesn't say goodbye it will eat him up and not only that but we need to be there for each other we are the only ones that understand what each other is going through.

It is going to be hard but I know some how I will get through today and as each day passes it will become easier. The boys have been left with a babysitter as Shane and I felt it wasn't the right place for them to be. When we got to the graveyard to say our farewell, the headstone just took my breath away it was so beautiful and very fitting for a father who has meant so much.

He was always there when I needed him even if sometimes I didn't know it. He always believed in me and my dreams and always knew I would make it by believing in myself. When I became a teenager he thought he lost me forever as I was growing up but the truth is I loved him as much then as I do now. He will always be loved and very much missed. The most comforting thought is that he and mum are now together again. I love you both, sweet dreams love you, your little girl Belle xxx.

March 1st

I found out today I'm expecting again. The doctor wasn't happy because of the trouble in my last pregnancy but Shane and I are happy, shocked but happy. We are hoping for a little girl but we have agreed to be surprised and wait till the baby is born.

March 4th

James birthday is fast approaching but have been discussing sending James to boarding school. Ed is trying to talk us out of it but we believe it will do him good but he is not of school age yet and if we do it has to be the right school.        

April 6th    

Luke has changed so much over the last few months and is now crawling and into everything. When he tried to get something from the table the item fell and it bumped his head but he didn't make a sound just carried on exploring as if nothing happened, my little brave boy.   

April 20th

We have now signed the papers for James to attend Fort Starch Military School. When we looked at all the options we decided that this would be a good choice for him as he would gain many different skills and if he likes it that much he may even stay there.  

May 1st

James has now turned into a handsome young man, we didn't have a party because he didn't want one. He was still missing his granddad but he did love his presents. Shane and James ended up in a pillow fight and then later on we heard splashes from the bathroom and as we opened the door we saw James playing submarines in the bath and he continued doing so for another 30 minutes.

May 6th

We said our goodbyes to James and Luke hugged his big brother, we told him if he didn't like it he could come home at any time. He wanted us to bring the new baby to his school so he could see his new brother or sister as he wanted to say hello.  As the taxi left my heart sunk and I cried hoping we'd done the right thing.

June 3rd

The only child to be due right on time was our little girl, yes finally we have a little girl. We called her Nina. She was born at 5:36am. When I realized I was in labour it was all over when I got to the hospital because apparently I was further along than they expected. We spoke to James and he wants to see his little sister asap.