Diary Entry 58

Entry 58

October 13th

The phone was ringing so I answered it "Hello."

The voice on the line said "Hi um is Shane there please?"

"No sorry can I help?" I asked

"My name is Tim I work at the stadium with Ed." at this point I was puzzled at why they would need to speak to Shane. "I'm really sorry to tell you this but Ed collapsed after leaving the stadium and, sorry there is no easy way to say this but he died a few moments ago." my heart sank, covering the phone I told James to get his Dad and he just knew by the look on my face it was urgent.

I tried to hold back the tears "I will tell Shane and we will be there straight away. I screamed at the top of my voice with tears running down my face. James came back in the room, "Mum what's wrong?"

"James it's your Granddad he has passed away and your Dad doesn't even know." crying uncontrollably.

 "Mum calm down it will be alright, I will get Dad from work just go and sit down in the living room and breath. I will get Luke to sit with you, ok." he said with concern. I just nodded as I couldn't speak now.

October 14th

Shane was really upset by his Dad passing as he never knew his Mum, his Dad passing was even harder for him. We may both be older but when someone you love dies it doesn't get any easier. When Shane got there about 30 minutes after we received the call the ambulance had already taken Ed away.

James told me he had never seen Dad cry so much and he was inconsolable, he had to treat his Dad like he was a child and guide him back to the car to bring him home. Ed's team mates were saying things like, "Sorry for your loss." Shane just didn't seem to care or respond and James was the one accepting their condolences on his Dad's behalf.

October 15th

I was eating outside when Luke came and sat at the table with me and said "I miss Granddad and the last thing we did together was argue and he grounded me now I can never say sorry. Why does it hurt so much?"

"Sweetie, Granddad loved you all very much and just because he grounded you doesn't mean he loved you any less. He knows you loved him and he loved you too. He was just looking out for you. If he didn't care you wouldn't have had the argument. " I tried to reassure Luke.

Then I remembered I hadn't told Nina she would have to finish school early, how could I forget and it was like Luke knew because he replied "James phoned Nina she's on the way home." I started to cry again with relief that someone had told Nina and I didn't have to break the news.

October 16th

I saw Nina pulling to the house in a taxi, I was so pleased to have all my children back home to help Shane through his difficult time. The funeral was later that day and has we all got ready to say goodbye to Ed, Luke was the one stepping back and saying "I can't do this I'm not ready." trying to hold back the tears. Shane; surprisingly was the one who came through, pulling Luke back to the headstone "Luke it will be ok. We have all lost someone who we loved very much."

"But my last words were said during a heated argument. How can I take it back?" trying not to lose his temper.

"You can't take it back but what you can do is move forward, know you argued because he was looking out for you and you disagreed. He was impressed that night by the way you stood up for yourself. He commented to me that night on how much you and he were alike." Luke looked stunned by Shane's speech but was even more stunned at the next part, we all were "and by the way he thought the red head was cute."

"How, uh when?"

"The night you argued he was worried so he followed you and when he saw a cute girl answer the door so he left you to it.

Then Nina turned to Luke and whispered "Luke has a girlfriend." Shane and I watched as the glares between brother and sister happened but Shane squeezed my hand and smiled as we both knew Ed would be laughing at the pair as they teased each other.