Diary Entry 13

Entry 13

January 6th

Yesterday was very surreal for me. I suppose I better tell you what happened! After my Dad opened the door to me and I went inside we sat down I must have looked very nervous cos at first I couldn't look at him and I just looked around the room. He put his hand on mine and just said "Is there anything you want to ask." as I pull away my hand I stood up and instead of asking about mum snapped at him "Why are you seeing other woman, you said you loved mum how can you be so cruel?"

"Paige, It's been over ten years since your mum and I divorced. We did love each other but things just didn't work out. I don't have any other explanation for you. As for seeing woman, he said with a chuckle. I haven't been seeing anyone as you put for years until about 18 months ago." He just looked at me waiting for a response and all that would come out of my mouth was "Oh, I see I just..." Dad interrupted me and yelled" You thought I'd been seeing lots of women, well let me tell you something, as I said before I loved your mum and just because we weren't together didn't mean I stopped loving your her. It took a long time to move on."

I was in shock he yelled at me but he is right he was an adult. The thought of my parents with anyone else just seemed unfair so wrong. In reality though they were two people that were in love once and things didn't work out so they moved on. I know my mum had a boyfriend years ago but that didn't go well. So why did it bug me that Dad did have a girlfriend? Maybe it was the fact he wanted to get married again. All I know is that if I wanted a relationship with my Dad I would have to get used to the fact that one day he may have another woman in his life other than me.

January 7th

Aaron broke the silence at breakfast "How did it go with your Dad yesterday?" I tried to not answer but he repeated the question and I blurted out "Awful, it went terrible. I was like a stupid teenager trying to tell him how to run his life. I should have been getting to know him. Now he'll never want to know." by now the tears were fall down my cheeks and I couldn't stop. Aaron by now had his arms around me and gently said "He called around this morning but you were asleep and asked if you could meet him for lunch so things couldn't have gone that badly."

All I could say was "He really wants to see me?" wiping the tears away. "He does. I think you should go and meet him for lunch and see what he wants. He has properly forgotten all about yesterday." pushing me towards the stairs "I hope so." I said under my breath as I went to get ready.

I waited outside the restaurant; Dad was running 20 minutes late. Great he really does hate me and never wants to see me again. I was getting ready to leaving when a man stepped out of a car. He looked familiar but I was too upset to care and the man came to me and said "Sorry I'm late. Hope you are hungry, let's go and eat."

"Dad, is that you" I said taken aback. "Yeah, it's me I've just finished work. Don't tell me you didn't recognise me?" 

"Um...No I didn't" as we took a table outside. I had the Salad and Dad ordered a cheese toastie; original I know.

Dad laughed at me "You didn't recognise your own father. Listen about yesterday..." here we go "I understand why you said what you did. It didn't occur to me that you would react the way you did when I told you I had a girlfriend, let alone propose to someone."

"Dad, until a couple of months ago I didn't have a Dad. Mum never spoke of you unless I asked questions and then they were mostly ignored. So I thought you were dead or didn't exist. All of a sudden I have a Dad and the thought of you being with someone horrified me cos I thought now I have you in my life again you would cut me out."

"Paige that is never going to happen. Now I have contact with you I am not going to lose you again and if a woman does come into my life then she will have to except I have a daughter." he replied. "Wow Dad I didn't think you felt that way thank you." as I smiled back at him.

We continued to munch away at our lunch when Dad announced "I am seeing someone we having only going out a few weeks so it is early days at the moment."

"What's her name?" I asked calmly as he show me a picture.

"Emma...Emma Lane" he said waiting for me to snap but instead I asked "all sorts of question like I was interrogating him "Do you love her? Do you live together? Do you plan to marry her?"

"Paige calm down as I said it's only been a few weeks but in answer to your questions love her! early days. Live with her! No and marry her! I have to love a person before that happens. I just want to let you know so we can be honest with each other. I do have another thing I need to tell you." what is it now? I thought "You know I'm here working, well I've been asked to move here permanently. How do you feel about that? Sitting there gob smacked what could I say now?