Diary Entry 41

Entry 41

January 28th

This place is so different from home. It is more green and lush and the air feel so fresh and alive but there is still something missing family and friends. I woke up this morning feeling lonely. The house I live in is lovely but it's so quiet and still nothing moves accept me. At home the house was always busy, doors opening and closing talking, laughter and the fights especially when Aunt April was around.

I wrote to Mum and Dad a few days ago but still haven't heard anything from them. I hope they don't mind tell Shane for me. I did try several times to tell him but the words just never came out. The thought of hurting him so much I just couldn't bear to see. So I took the easy way out and left it to my parents. I know I will get over Shane one day but for now I have concentrate on my grades and keeping them high or I won't have a choice and I will be told to come home.

I decided as it was a lovely day that I would sit outside in the garden, soaking up the sun while doing my homework. I hate maths it really annoys me, the sums just seem to get harder and harder and don't get me started on geography otherwise we'd be here all night.

January 30th

I walked in through the door and Mum and Dad's face lit up. "I came home to visit, hope that's ok?" I asked. Dad hugged me so tight I thought I was going to stop breathing and them mum did the same but to be honest I loved the hugs. "Where's Alfie?" "In the garden." Mum replied. I found him sitting on the seesaw so I joined him.

"Enjoying life on your own?" he asked. "I am enjoying it but the house is very quiet. I am getting used to it and I love my new school. Did mum and Dad..." Alfie cut me off "What tell Shane, yes Mum did. He was really upset, Belle. You should of told him to let someone do it for you. I thought things were going great between you.!" "They were but that was just it, too great and look I don't want to talk about this anymore." I snapped at poor Alfie leaving him shocked.

He was right why didn't I do the right thing. I decided to jump into the hot tub to let all my emotions wash away and try not to think of anyone, most of all Shane. It was good being home even though it was only for one night it was lovely seeing the family.

After dinner I called over to Uncle Daniel's house but no-one was  in and from what Dad told me over dinner was that my cousin Henry wanted to see his favourite cousin. He's getting really big now and causing more trouble now he can walk and pick things up.

January 31st

I took a stroll through the town and as I approached the school I saw Shane. For what seemed like a lifetime but must have only been a minute or two, we stare in each other's eyes then he turned and ran. It felt like there was so much to say but the atmosphere was just too painful, I can't believe I could be the cause of so much pain.

February 3th

All I seem to do in this house is housework and homework. I can't could a good meal either as I keep burning everything I touch. Cheese on toast and cereal is what I live on the most at the moment. I bought a book that tells you how to cook and hopefully soon I might be able to cook something a little better.

February 5th

School wasn't that good today, my teacher thinks I'm letting my grades slip and if it continues then they will have to speak to my parents. This is all I need my Mum and Dad telling me I have to come home. Part of me wants to go home as I miss everyone but the other part of me wants to stay and prove to myself that I can cope on my own. It's no good I am just going to have to work even harder and get the grades back up so Mum and Dad never know.